15w5d today and finding myself DESPERATE to feel some movement from little Scrappy in there. So many of the blogs I’ve read report feeling movement around this time and I’m wondering when it will happen for me. Okay, okay, I know I’m being impatient here – my doctor and all the books say that for a first kiddo, you shouldn’t expect movement until 18 weeks or so. But I like to think that Scrappy is advanced so I’m hoping for sooner. Plus, I am ultra tuned-in to my uterus these days so hopefully that will speed things up.
I *thought* I had felt a few little flutters over the last couple of weeks, but who knows? I have no idea what I’m feeling for. Could very well have been gas for goodness sake. All I know is that I CAN’T WAIT to feel our little one’s kicks on a regular basis. That, my friends, will be truly exciting.
I’m still at this in-between stage where I don’t quite look pregnant, but I definitely look “thick”. I am really looking forward to having a big ol’ belly. I have been having D take “belly pictures” of me every Sunday and once I feel like I’m looking noticeably pregnant, then I will post the series. One thing I can say for sure is that my tummy area is really, REALLY itchy, despite the fact that I slather moisturizer on my entire torso every morning. That’s one thing about pregnancy that no one ever warns you about – the itching! I guess I am happy about it because it must mean I’m growing, right?
I would now like to take this opportunity to once again, sing the praises of my fetal Doppler. Every time I’ve felt anxiety or worry about little Scrappy, I am instantly reassured by a quick blast with the Doppler. I. LOVE. IT. It has helped me to have a more confident pregnancy, which is so invaluable. Granted, it doesn’t erase ALL my worries (I’m still paranoid about having an incompetent cervix and going into pre-term labour, not to mention anxieties about the baby not developing properly or getting an infection, or heaven forbid what if the umbilical cord wraps around the baby’s neck???…*clears throat*, but I digress...) but it really does keep me from losing my mind on a daily basis. Plus, I’m getting good at using the Doppler – I can usually find little Scrappy’s heartbeat instantly. Such a gorgeous sound.
I read a really great quote yesterday which totally made me smile: “Babies are conceived to be born, and children are born to live.” In other words, little ones are tough – and everything in them is fighting to be healthy and strong and grow and live. What a wonderful realization.
Friday, February 29, 2008
Wednesday, February 27, 2008
Someone Needs A Shower
Those of you who have read my blog for awhile may recall my making mention of my friend "Pregnant L". Pregnant L is no longer pregnant and will henceforth be referred to as just plain old "L". I'm happy to report that about two weeks ago, L gave birth to a beautiful and perfect baby boy who is as sweet and lovely as can be.
I meant to throw L a shower before her baby was born, but because of the timing of the IVF and her due date, I just couldn't bring myself to put something together - it would have been too hard for me if the IVF hadn't worked. I wasn't even kinda ready to deal with "baby stuff" unless I was sure I was pregnant with a keeper (I love you Scrappy!).
So, I decided to throw L a "Welcome Baby" shower instead, which truth be told, I think is a nicer idea than having a shower beforehand, if for no other reason than it gives everyone an opportunity to meet the baby all at once, rather than inundate the new mum with tons of visitors spread out over weeks.
Long story short (or vice-versa), the shower is this upcoming Sunday.
I've been planning and scheming and shopping and finally have everything ready to go. And I must admit, I'm excited.
It's been such a long road, I never thought (but always hoped) I'd finally be in a place (pregnant) where I could not only attend a baby shower, but throw one - and be excited about it at that. I am so incredibly lucky and grateful to be here.
Sunday is going to be a fun day. I can't wait until it's my turn for a baby shower.
I meant to throw L a shower before her baby was born, but because of the timing of the IVF and her due date, I just couldn't bring myself to put something together - it would have been too hard for me if the IVF hadn't worked. I wasn't even kinda ready to deal with "baby stuff" unless I was sure I was pregnant with a keeper (I love you Scrappy!).
So, I decided to throw L a "Welcome Baby" shower instead, which truth be told, I think is a nicer idea than having a shower beforehand, if for no other reason than it gives everyone an opportunity to meet the baby all at once, rather than inundate the new mum with tons of visitors spread out over weeks.
Long story short (or vice-versa), the shower is this upcoming Sunday.
I've been planning and scheming and shopping and finally have everything ready to go. And I must admit, I'm excited.
It's been such a long road, I never thought (but always hoped) I'd finally be in a place (pregnant) where I could not only attend a baby shower, but throw one - and be excited about it at that. I am so incredibly lucky and grateful to be here.
Sunday is going to be a fun day. I can't wait until it's my turn for a baby shower.
Sunday, February 24, 2008
Obee Kanobee
You haven't lived until you've heard a 3 year old explain Star Wars. Check this out but have your meds ready in case you have a cuteness seizure.
15 Weeks Today
Holy moly 15 weeks! For some reason, 15 weeks sounds like a lot to me. Waaay more than 14 weeks. Not sure why. But I'm so happy to be here!
I've been actively trying not to worry as much. I think my anxiety has been improving, slowly, but it's still a challenge. I still do find myself falling into the same pattern of being anxious pretty often. But when that happens, I have been just trying to focus on the positives and milestones that we've reached so far. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't. But it's a small improvement. I'll take it.
One thing that has definitely helped is having that Doppler around. I don't use it that often - the goal is no more than once a week - but I find just having it in the house helps immensely. Just knowing that I can hear that gorgeous heartbeat anytime I want is a fabulous luxury. If I'm having a worry-filled moment, a quick session with the Doppler usually puts my fears at ease. I'm a big fan. Money well spent for sure.
The baby's movement will also be a nice source of reassurance, and that should be starting any day now. I think I've felt something a few times already but it's so hard to tell because I don't know what I'm feeling for. I'm definitely looking forward to feeling those obvious baby kicks. I can't wait!
Everyone seems to think that Scrappy is a girl, except for my husband. I personally have no idea and don't have a preference either way, as long as s/he is healthy, happy and strong. I can't wait to find out. If for no other reason than to provide my baby daydreams with some specifics. And of course, for the shopping.
I've been actively trying not to worry as much. I think my anxiety has been improving, slowly, but it's still a challenge. I still do find myself falling into the same pattern of being anxious pretty often. But when that happens, I have been just trying to focus on the positives and milestones that we've reached so far. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't. But it's a small improvement. I'll take it.
One thing that has definitely helped is having that Doppler around. I don't use it that often - the goal is no more than once a week - but I find just having it in the house helps immensely. Just knowing that I can hear that gorgeous heartbeat anytime I want is a fabulous luxury. If I'm having a worry-filled moment, a quick session with the Doppler usually puts my fears at ease. I'm a big fan. Money well spent for sure.
The baby's movement will also be a nice source of reassurance, and that should be starting any day now. I think I've felt something a few times already but it's so hard to tell because I don't know what I'm feeling for. I'm definitely looking forward to feeling those obvious baby kicks. I can't wait!
Everyone seems to think that Scrappy is a girl, except for my husband. I personally have no idea and don't have a preference either way, as long as s/he is healthy, happy and strong. I can't wait to find out. If for no other reason than to provide my baby daydreams with some specifics. And of course, for the shopping.
Friday, February 22, 2008
The Righteous Bloggy Ass Kicking Was Totally Called For
Thank you everyone, for the down-home bloggy ass kicking. It was well deserved and I really needed that. You guys are so right. I totally need to calm down.
I am finding it increasingly hard to maintain perspective these days. I know some of it is hormones, some of it is going through a previous loss, and some of it is just due to the fact that I am a high-strung anxiety-ridden, end-of-the-world, worry wart kind of gal. I wasn’t going to say anything, but I can’t keep secrets from you guys – I have been referred to the reproductive mental health counseling program at the hospital where I will give birth. At my last OB/GYN appointment, I think my doctor sensed my anxiety and while she did reassure me that it’s not uncommon in pregnancy, she does not want me to live in this fear that I constantly find myself in. And it’s not good for a parent to raise their child with that kind of fear. So she sent over a referral and there it is. I’m going for help. Unfortunately the soonest I can get in is March 31st. Ya gotta love the Canadian health care system. It’s free, so I can’t complain, but they sure don’t do anything in a hurry.
My doctor did end up calling me about an hour ago regarding my concerns over my cervix. Her exact words: “You’re fine. Get off the internet. I will tell you when there’s something to worry about. Don’t worry until I tell you to worry. They will check your cervix again at your 19 week scan. At this point, you’re at no more risk of going into preterm labour than the average person. You’re FINE. Take care.” And that was it.
*Exhaling now*
Thanks for putting up with me and still continuing to check in even though I have been a whiner extraordinaire. You guys will never know how much I appreciate each and every one of you. Got nothin’ but love for y'all.
xoxo
I am finding it increasingly hard to maintain perspective these days. I know some of it is hormones, some of it is going through a previous loss, and some of it is just due to the fact that I am a high-strung anxiety-ridden, end-of-the-world, worry wart kind of gal. I wasn’t going to say anything, but I can’t keep secrets from you guys – I have been referred to the reproductive mental health counseling program at the hospital where I will give birth. At my last OB/GYN appointment, I think my doctor sensed my anxiety and while she did reassure me that it’s not uncommon in pregnancy, she does not want me to live in this fear that I constantly find myself in. And it’s not good for a parent to raise their child with that kind of fear. So she sent over a referral and there it is. I’m going for help. Unfortunately the soonest I can get in is March 31st. Ya gotta love the Canadian health care system. It’s free, so I can’t complain, but they sure don’t do anything in a hurry.
My doctor did end up calling me about an hour ago regarding my concerns over my cervix. Her exact words: “You’re fine. Get off the internet. I will tell you when there’s something to worry about. Don’t worry until I tell you to worry. They will check your cervix again at your 19 week scan. At this point, you’re at no more risk of going into preterm labour than the average person. You’re FINE. Take care.” And that was it.
*Exhaling now*
Thanks for putting up with me and still continuing to check in even though I have been a whiner extraordinaire. You guys will never know how much I appreciate each and every one of you. Got nothin’ but love for y'all.
xoxo
Thursday, February 21, 2008
Anyone Know Anything About Cervical Length?
I had my "cervical length" ultrasound today. It revealed that my cervix is 3.2cm (32mm) in length. I am concerned about this because I was under the impression that 3.5-4.0 cm is considered normal. The ultrasound tech said it was with the normal range and didn't seem concerned. I hope she's right. I called my doctor and left a message with regard to this and we'll see what she says, hopefully tomorrow.
Scrappy was so much bigger than in previous ultrasounds. That seems like a "duh" thing to say but it was really amazing to see the little guy. The little skeleton is all formed and he was waving and moving all around. It was totally adorable.
Unfortunately, this time he was measuring one day behind but again, the tech said this was within normal limits. So I'll try not to worry. The operative word being "try".
All-in-all a pretty good appointment, albeit I am a little concerned about maybe having a short cervix. Hmmm.
Lastly, I better fess up. I rented a fetal doppler. I thought it might help put my anxiety at ease. I've already used it twice today (plus I had the ultrasound earlier) so I really have to start mustering up some self control. I can see this little luxury becoming a problem. I don't want to fry Scrappy's little brain. But I must admit, it's very cool to hear that beautiful heartbeat on command. I love it. But I am NOT allowed to use it again for at least another week.
Scrappy was so much bigger than in previous ultrasounds. That seems like a "duh" thing to say but it was really amazing to see the little guy. The little skeleton is all formed and he was waving and moving all around. It was totally adorable.
Unfortunately, this time he was measuring one day behind but again, the tech said this was within normal limits. So I'll try not to worry. The operative word being "try".
All-in-all a pretty good appointment, albeit I am a little concerned about maybe having a short cervix. Hmmm.
Lastly, I better fess up. I rented a fetal doppler. I thought it might help put my anxiety at ease. I've already used it twice today (plus I had the ultrasound earlier) so I really have to start mustering up some self control. I can see this little luxury becoming a problem. I don't want to fry Scrappy's little brain. But I must admit, it's very cool to hear that beautiful heartbeat on command. I love it. But I am NOT allowed to use it again for at least another week.
Tuesday, February 19, 2008
Today's Appointment
Today's doctor's appointment went well. It was mostly a Q&A session on my part - I came in with a lengthly list of questions for poor Dr. R. But she was very patient and answered each and every one of them and didn't make me feel rushed.
Scrappy's beautiful heartbeat was a robust 164 bpm. Dr. R actually suggested that we get a fetal doppler as she thinks it will help with my anxieties. I might just do that.
Dr. R is sending me for an ultrasound on Thursday to check my "cervical length". Because of having a previous miscarriage, I was concerned about having an incompetent cervix and she wanted to put my fears at ease. I believe there is a very minimal chance that there is actually something wrong with my cervix, but it can't hurt to check things out. Better safe than sorry. Plus, we might just get another quick peek at the kiddo, which would be great.
Only one teeny tiny piece of unfortunate news came of out today's exam, and really it's not a big deal at all. I asked Dr. R if she thought they would tell us the baby's gender at our ultrasound on March 25th and she said absolutely not. In Canada, we have a law in place that states that couples cannot find out the sex of their baby until they are at least 20 weeks along in their pregnancy*. Well, I will only be 19w2d when we have our ultrasound and apparently they won't budge. I thought maybe we'd have some wiggle room since we conceived by IVF but no go. Ah well. She says that we can call her office after we're past the 20 week mark and find out over the phone. I'm still hoping that by some miracle, we'll find out at the ultrasound.
It's not that we care if it's a boy or a girl - I just want to go shopping!
*The reason we have this crazy law in Canada is because there are a lot of different religious and cultural groups in this country that will abort their babies if they find out they're having a girl. While I don't think this happens often, apparently it happens often enough that they had to make a strict law about it. 20 weeks is the official cut-off time for having an abortion. Horrible, I know.
Scrappy's beautiful heartbeat was a robust 164 bpm. Dr. R actually suggested that we get a fetal doppler as she thinks it will help with my anxieties. I might just do that.
Dr. R is sending me for an ultrasound on Thursday to check my "cervical length". Because of having a previous miscarriage, I was concerned about having an incompetent cervix and she wanted to put my fears at ease. I believe there is a very minimal chance that there is actually something wrong with my cervix, but it can't hurt to check things out. Better safe than sorry. Plus, we might just get another quick peek at the kiddo, which would be great.
Only one teeny tiny piece of unfortunate news came of out today's exam, and really it's not a big deal at all. I asked Dr. R if she thought they would tell us the baby's gender at our ultrasound on March 25th and she said absolutely not. In Canada, we have a law in place that states that couples cannot find out the sex of their baby until they are at least 20 weeks along in their pregnancy*. Well, I will only be 19w2d when we have our ultrasound and apparently they won't budge. I thought maybe we'd have some wiggle room since we conceived by IVF but no go. Ah well. She says that we can call her office after we're past the 20 week mark and find out over the phone. I'm still hoping that by some miracle, we'll find out at the ultrasound.
It's not that we care if it's a boy or a girl - I just want to go shopping!
*The reason we have this crazy law in Canada is because there are a lot of different religious and cultural groups in this country that will abort their babies if they find out they're having a girl. While I don't think this happens often, apparently it happens often enough that they had to make a strict law about it. 20 weeks is the official cut-off time for having an abortion. Horrible, I know.
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