I realize I need to get over myself.
I hit a breaking point yesterday and just couldn't stop crying. Hormones, impatience, discomfort and lack of control were to blame. Luckily, I have a very sweet dad who recognized how upset I was and he very kindly gave me a hug, a foot massage and took me to the local jewish deli for some chicken soup with matzo balls. It helped immensely.
In all my anxiety, I lost, for a moment, the forest for the trees. I am so incredibly lucky and blessed to be in this place, mere hours or days away from meeting my daughter. It's not that I forgot about all that (I never, EVER forget), I just lost my focus.
Tomorrow morning I have a doctor's appointment, which will hopefully result in some sort of plan. The most my doctor will let me go overdue is 10 days so come hell or high water, this baby girl will be arriving no later than August 27th (next Wednesday). I hope it doesn't come down to induction, but I guess I need to be prepared for that possibility. If that's how it's going to happen, so be it.
Today it's raining but I'm going to try to get in a very long walk anyway. And I'm going to try to stay calm and have the most anxiety-free day I can. Although I feel like hands-down the most pregnant woman to ever waddle the face of the earth right now, I know this isn't an uncommon position for a first-time mum to find herself in and somehow zillions of other mums have gone a lot more overdue than I am right now and they have persevered and had perfect, healthy children. This is my focus, my mantra, for today.
I will post again after my doctor's appointment tomorrow morning. So if you check my blog tomorrow (Friday) before 11:00am PST and don't see a post, don't assume it's because something exciting is happening, as I'll likely just be tied up at my appointment for the early part of the morning.
Then again, anything is possible, right?
THE EXCITING ADVENTURES OF A GIRL AND HER POLYCYSTIC OVARIES, FINALLY PREGNANT AFTER PLAYING THE GAME FOR SUCH A LONG TIME...
UPCOMING APPOINTMENTS
- Sunday August 17th - BABY'S DUE DATE!!!
WHAT A TRIP
- 14 Years Old - Diagnosed with PCOS
- 2000 - Met my true love
- 2002 - Married my true love
- 2003 - Moved to Canada from Seattle
- 2005 - Onset of Baby Fever
- April 06 - Baby Fever spreads to husband
- May 06 - Threw away the BCPs, started actively trying...I thought it'd be so easy...
- November 06 - Ultrasound showed over 40 cysts on each ovary - started on Metformin 2000mg
- April 07 - First round of Clomid, 50mg - No ovulation
- May 07 - Second round of Clomid, 100mg - Pregnant!
- June 07 - Miscarriage
- Sept 07 - Third round of Clomid, 100mg - No ovulation
- Nov/Dec 08 - IVF - Pregnant! Stick Baby STICK!
- March 08 - Mid-pregnancy anatomy scan - It's a GIRL!
BLOG ARCHIVE
PLAYS WELL WITH OTHERS
7 comments:
yah for a wonderful dad to the rescue! good luck
Sorry you're having such a rough go of it right now.
Maybe you could see if your doctor would consider non-medical methods of induction? A friend of mine who was using the same midwife as me went 10 days over (our midwife recommended medical induction at 14 days over) and the midwife advised her to take a couple of shots of castor oil. It absolutely kick-started her labor. That might give you a better chance of avoiding all the medial induction, which it seems like you'd like to do.
Hope your appointment goes well tomorrow!
I reckon Maya will snuggle in for Winter....
I joke, honest, don't kick me...
Hang in there. I promise, its almost over and Maya will be here before you know it! :)
Awww.. I am so sorry for all you are going through right now, I cannot even imagine how crazy it is to just be waiting and waiting... I am constantly thinking of you and just waiting for the day Maya is here!
I am sending you hugs..... hopefully your appointment will give you options.
*hugs*
Hang in there Hil. Im gona give you one of those stories you hate so that you know you are not the first to feel like this- a pg chick I worked with last year was only 5f and looked like she was going to pop at the seams from 7 months onwards(she really did) she was huge and uncomfortable. She went 10 days overdue then took 2 days in labour to get bubs out as nothing was working (pushing, suctioning etc)finally they gave her a c section. She said she wished she had done it sooner. They both recovered perfectly. No matter what you hope(Maya to come when she chooses)or what you plan(a natural birth)it could change so all you can do is what YOU need to at the time - so if it is induce her naturally ASAP then go eat a curry & drink a gallon of rasberry tea then walk to Ds work and lube up with castor oil to have sex on his desk while he stimulates your nipples Good luck and have fun!
just because we are infertile doesn't mean that we must siffer in silence. of course you appreciate this pregnancy, but that doesn't make this misery much easier.
you don't need to get over yourself, you need TO GET THIS BABY OUT.
i have high hopes for todays appt.
xoxoxo
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