Tuesday, January 15, 2008

Humble Pie

When I found out my Ob/Gyn didn't have an ultrasound machine at her office, I was disappointed. Then, when I read that sometimes 10 weeks is too early to pick up the baby's heartbeat on Doppler, I panicked. If she couldn't hear the heartbeat at my appointment next week, I would be likely to freak right out (even if my logical mind knows it could be too early).

So guess what I did?

I emailed my wonderful RE at the fertility clinic and begged her for an ultrasound. I offered up cash, diamonds, gold bouillon, anything. She kindly offered to let me sneak in for a "quickie" on Thursday (Jan 17) morning at 7:45am - before her other patients arrive. Have I mentioned that I love my RE? Even though I am officially "discharged" from the fertility clinic, I am holding on with all teeth and claws, I tell you. I don't want to be treated like everyone else! I want to be special!!

Anyway, so now I get to go in for an ultrasound in two mornings from now. My first reaction was excitement, but now that it's sunk in - I'm scared and worry-addled all over again, just like before my first ultrasound at 7 weeks. I know the odds are in my favour, but I'm still nervous.

I think I've become so accustomed to my very mild pregnancy symptoms, that I'm having a hard time "feeling pregnant" at this stage and I realize 9 weeks isn't all that far along to be feeling much. I don't even know what I'd want to be feeling, all I know is that I guess I thought it would be more than this.

What I am feeling:
-HUGE breasts, aureolas darker and bigger now
-Hungry, thirsty, tired
-The occasional very mild twinge thing in my uterus
-Grouchy, sensitive, irrational
-Occasional backache (sciatica)

If you can spare a good thought, please send one my way for Thursday morning. I'm trying to think logically and not get all worried by my irrational brain (see list above) takes over with fear and anxiety every so often and I find myself rocking in the corner and foaming at the mouth. I really don't care about anything else anymore - I just want my Scrappy to be healthy and growing strong. Thanks for reading.

29 comments:

Martin said...

Jeez relax woman! ;-)

9 weeks is very early, you'll be cursing it soon enough when you cant change your own underwear, so just try to enjoy it as much as you can.

and by those symptoms, barring the itchy uterus, I may be up the duff myself.

Take it easy!

Barb said...

Wow! Nice RE! I wish mine was that nice...

Weird that your ob doesn't have a u/s machine.

GL!

Anonymous said...

Good Luck on Thursday!

AwkwardMoments said...

Great RE- I have white coat dr's appointment anxiety about a week before all my appointments. Good luck to y ou - we are just so accustom to bad news that we don't know what to do at this point with all of this good news!

You will get lots more good news!

Anonymous said...

You're sounding pretty pregnant to me.

I can't believe your OB doesn't have an ultrasound machine...I thought that was par for the course?

Unknown said...

congrats good luck and your due date is my mother's birthday.

RBandRC said...

Sending lots of good thoughts your way! :)

HUGS!

sarah23 said...

Good luck Thursday AM! I like the new ticker (you have a DUE DATE!!), although I miss the old one a bit as it was kinda fun to see Scrappy look more and more human-like by the day.

sarah23 said...

Never mind! When I re-loaded the page I saw both pregnancy tickers. BTW, thanks for the positive thoughts on my journal. However, I just went back and read your December entries... you were getting significant symptoms by 5DP5DT (or the equivalent of 10DPO)! :)

Mama Bunny said...

Oh, yay...please post ASAP how the ultrasound went! I have all my crossables crossed!

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