When I found out my Ob/Gyn didn't have an ultrasound machine at her office, I was disappointed. Then, when I read that sometimes 10 weeks is too early to pick up the baby's heartbeat on Doppler, I panicked. If she couldn't hear the heartbeat at my appointment next week, I would be likely to freak right out (even if my logical mind knows it could be too early).
So guess what I did?
I emailed my wonderful RE at the fertility clinic and begged her for an ultrasound. I offered up cash, diamonds, gold bouillon, anything. She kindly offered to let me sneak in for a "quickie" on Thursday (Jan 17) morning at 7:45am - before her other patients arrive. Have I mentioned that I love my RE? Even though I am officially "discharged" from the fertility clinic, I am holding on with all teeth and claws, I tell you. I don't want to be treated like everyone else! I want to be special!!
Anyway, so now I get to go in for an ultrasound in two mornings from now. My first reaction was excitement, but now that it's sunk in - I'm scared and worry-addled all over again, just like before my first ultrasound at 7 weeks. I know the odds are in my favour, but I'm still nervous.
I think I've become so accustomed to my very mild pregnancy symptoms, that I'm having a hard time "feeling pregnant" at this stage and I realize 9 weeks isn't all that far along to be feeling much. I don't even know what I'd want to be feeling, all I know is that I guess I thought it would be more than this.
What I am feeling:
-HUGE breasts, aureolas darker and bigger now
-Hungry, thirsty, tired
-The occasional very mild twinge thing in my uterus
-Grouchy, sensitive, irrational
-Occasional backache (sciatica)
If you can spare a good thought, please send one my way for Thursday morning. I'm trying to think logically and not get all worried by my irrational brain (see list above) takes over with fear and anxiety every so often and I find myself rocking in the corner and foaming at the mouth. I really don't care about anything else anymore - I just want my Scrappy to be healthy and growing strong. Thanks for reading.