Ride

THANK YOU to everyone who commented and left valuable advice on my previous post. I really appreciate it.

I feel optimistic that I'm heading in the right direction and confident that I am a good candidate for IVF. I think if I could get a grip on my anxieties in general, I'd be an even better candidate. Such anxieties have driven me to perform countless Google searches over the last few days using such key words as "IVF success", "PCOS IVF", "acupuncture IVF success", "excellent chance of IVF working", "twins IVF", "celebrity IVF", "success first try IVF", just to name a few. Yes, I've been crazy and obsessed. Yes, I need to calm down.

The silly thing as that in my quest to become smarter about this process, I've actually created more confusion than enlightenment. The internet is a dangerous thing. Google has definitely got my number. I have come across information about as many successful IVFs as unsuccessful IVFs. I have found information that claims that acupuncture increases IVF success rates, as well as articles that state that acupuncture is a hindrance. I have discovered every wonderful, touching, inspiring IVF story out there, as well as all the tragic, depressing and hopeless ones. Did you know that IVF success rates can vary from 10% to 90%??? My point is that there is a lot of conflicting information out there, and that is a dangerous thing for a knowledge-crazy obsessive sort, like myself.

However, what I have discovered with some certainty is that everyone is different, and every person's experience with IVF (and fertility in general) is unique. Internet searches, statistics, articles and success rates really mean nothing to the individual. It is, in some small way, comforting to come to the realization that my upcoming IVF will only go one of two ways: It will be successful or it won't. And the odds are in my favour.

So, dear readers, I solomnly vow to you right now that the crazy internet-searching obsession ends now. It just isn't helping, and I'm already as educated on this process as I can (and should) be. I really should be focusing my attention on things that may actually improve my chances of success - like good nutrition, meditation, gentle exercise, relaxation, breathing, and finding joy in life.

I'll never be in the driver's seat in this process; that's just the way it goes. For the first time ever, I accept that; I can't believe it took me so long. I just fastened my seatbelt and I'm ready to ride.