Wednesday, October 17, 2007

Ride

THANK YOU to everyone who commented and left valuable advice on my previous post. I really appreciate it.

I feel optimistic that I'm heading in the right direction and confident that I am a good candidate for IVF. I think if I could get a grip on my anxieties in general, I'd be an even better candidate. Such anxieties have driven me to perform countless Google searches over the last few days using such key words as "IVF success", "PCOS IVF", "acupuncture IVF success", "excellent chance of IVF working", "twins IVF", "celebrity IVF", "success first try IVF", just to name a few. Yes, I've been crazy and obsessed. Yes, I need to calm down.

The silly thing as that in my quest to become smarter about this process, I've actually created more confusion than enlightenment. The internet is a dangerous thing. Google has definitely got my number. I have come across information about as many successful IVFs as unsuccessful IVFs. I have found information that claims that acupuncture increases IVF success rates, as well as articles that state that acupuncture is a hindrance. I have discovered every wonderful, touching, inspiring IVF story out there, as well as all the tragic, depressing and hopeless ones. Did you know that IVF success rates can vary from 10% to 90%??? My point is that there is a lot of conflicting information out there, and that is a dangerous thing for a knowledge-crazy obsessive sort, like myself.

However, what I have discovered with some certainty is that everyone is different, and every person's experience with IVF (and fertility in general) is unique. Internet searches, statistics, articles and success rates really mean nothing to the individual. It is, in some small way, comforting to come to the realization that my upcoming IVF will only go one of two ways: It will be successful or it won't. And the odds are in my favour.

So, dear readers, I solomnly vow to you right now that the crazy internet-searching obsession ends now. It just isn't helping, and I'm already as educated on this process as I can (and should) be. I really should be focusing my attention on things that may actually improve my chances of success - like good nutrition, meditation, gentle exercise, relaxation, breathing, and finding joy in life.

I'll never be in the driver's seat in this process; that's just the way it goes. For the first time ever, I accept that; I can't believe it took me so long. I just fastened my seatbelt and I'm ready to ride.

5 comments:

Melissa said...

Good for you, Hilary! I am on the same wagon with you when it comes to Dr. Google. I put entirely too much brain damage in to trying to find answers to every and any medical issue possible that way, and it always winds up just leaving me holding an empty bag!

orodemniades said...

Google University is great, except when it's really bad. I highly recommend you do not consult Dr Google too much during your treatment. You'll just freak yourself out, unless you suspect you have OHSS. Now, I had late-onset OHSS but had no clue that's what it was until I ended up in the ER. Late-onset is the same as OHSS, except it occurs after retrieval and transfer...which I why I never thought I had it, I just figured it was stim weirdity.

And as for doing everything 'right' pre-IVF, don't drive yourself crazy doing that, either. Too much exercise will lower your chances (go figure, eh?). I'd say, do prenatals, gentle exercise such as walking, gardening, and eat well. If you like to cook, now is a great time to eat lots of meats and veggies, and buy no-antibiotic/grass-fed/organic if you a) can find and b) can afford it.

Right, I'm going to shut up now.

Barb said...

I am very similar in the obsessed info seeking dept. But I, too have recently found that it doesn't matter, b/c none of that states how *I* will respond. Thanks for a great post, and GL with the IVF!

Kathy said...

O Google. The lovely institute that is Google. Where you can learn all you never needed to know about your IVF process while also finding 867 recipes for cheese sandwiches. Is constructing your own pair of bell bottom jeans in a step by step, easy to read instruction page more your speed? Its in there! Interested in figuring out the driving directions from Manhattan to Paris? We've got you covered. Embarrassingly obsessed with Briteny Spears? We'll tell you everything you need to know. Google: the webofile's car salesman.

Congratulations on taking the next step. You've graduated from obsessive Google user to just plain obsessive. Its a small club, but we're really friendly and there's always coffee.

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