Saturday, September 29, 2007

Sign Divine

I've been scouring the internet for stories of successful IUIs. Unfortunately, they're not all that easy to come by. Sure, there are some out there, but even those successes I find are generally the third, fourth or even fifth IUI that the poor woman has been through. Not that I'm already getting down about my upcoming IUI - I guess I'm just trying not to get my hopes up. In my world of TTC, my hopes have been sky-high and then dashed more times than I can even count. I'm all about self-protection now.

Of course IVF has a much better statistical success rate (51% compared to 6-26% at best with IUI). I was asking D last night if maybe we shouldn't just plow ahead and go straight for IVF, considering the success rate. He said no, and then added, if we do TWO IUIs in the same cycle, then we'll have the same statistics as if we were doing IVF. I tried to explain to him that it just doesn't work that way, but he stood firm with his reasoning that thems be the numbers and that's the way it is. How can I argue with that reasoning? Ah guys. You gotta love 'em.

I would love to hear stories from women who have had success with their first IUI.

And let's not forget the meds. I didn't respond to my last cycle of Clomid and I am hoping that maybe my new fertility doctor (Dr. T, who I will meet on October 10th) will consider prescribing me something else, like maybe shots. I just don't want to go through the whole stupid process of gearing up to TTC only to find out at the end of the cycle that I didn't even ovulate. Truthfully, the shots scare me a bit, but all in all it's a very small price to pay if it means I get to have a baby nine months later.

What wil the next cycle bring? The curiosity is killing me!

I've heard a few stories about how some women noticed several "signs" just prior to getting a positive pregnancy test. For example, being shit on by a bird on the way to the drugstore to purchase the test (supposedly good luck). Or when buying the pregnancy test, the cashier's name was the exact name the woman had chosen for her baby.

My dilemma is that kind of thing happens to me all the time. Seriously, I notice so much synchronicity that sometimes I wonder if my life isn't spiraling in on itself. One minute, I'll be thinking about something really random, like, I don't know - long matches - for example. A few hours later, I'll see long matches on TV or someone will bring them up in conversation. Or (this happened to me the other day as a matter of fact), I'll wake up with a song in my head (50 Ways To Leave Your Lover by Paul Simon) and think to myself "why do I have this song stuck in my head?". And then on my way to work that morning, I'll pass a newstand only to discover a lyric from that very song ("Just drop off the key, Lee") splashed across the front page of the local newspaper in bold letters, not to be missed. These things happen to me almost every day.

Am I psycic? Am I living in an alternate universe? Am I in tune with another dimension?

Does this mean that signs have the opposite effect on me? If I stop noticing "signs" does that mean I'll finally get to have my baby?

3 comments:

Katarina Jelly Beana said...

Aren't boys cute when they try to understand a woman's cycle? They try to be so helpful...

As I sit here during the final days before my first IUI cycle, I can say that I was having the EXACT same thoughts this morning. Spooky, huh?

I see signs all the time. They all tie to something, but not a single one has tied to a positive pregnancy test for me. I am constantly convinced that the universe is whispering "this time...this time.." to me. It's never been true, so I sometimes wonder what alternate force is whispering to me. Is it my despiration? Hope? Blind optimism?

I hope Dr. T amps you up to something else. Clomid was a bust for me and Dr. Cox (the fake name for my RE) put me on Femara (pills) & Bravelle (injections). I did a monitored cycle, tried the natural (noninsemination) route and just didn't get pregnant. The monitored cycle was cool because I got updates on my eggs every other day from CD10 until I did my trigger shot and ovulated. I just never did manage to get knocked up. I'm sure it was stress.

The drugs last time kicked my A$$. We thought about moving on to IVF, but the drugs are even more crazymaking, so we're going the IUI route for a couple of cycles. I really would prefer to go through this in the calmest, most serene way I can while having vaginal ultrasounds & multiple blood draws.

I'm excited to see what Dr. T has to say!

Barb said...

My first IUI was successful (after my hsg), but it was a chem. But don't worry. I think it was a chem due to my thyroid problems in the very least.
GL!

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