Sign Divine

I've been scouring the internet for stories of successful IUIs. Unfortunately, they're not all that easy to come by. Sure, there are some out there, but even those successes I find are generally the third, fourth or even fifth IUI that the poor woman has been through. Not that I'm already getting down about my upcoming IUI - I guess I'm just trying not to get my hopes up. In my world of TTC, my hopes have been sky-high and then dashed more times than I can even count. I'm all about self-protection now.

Of course IVF has a much better statistical success rate (51% compared to 6-26% at best with IUI). I was asking D last night if maybe we shouldn't just plow ahead and go straight for IVF, considering the success rate. He said no, and then added, if we do TWO IUIs in the same cycle, then we'll have the same statistics as if we were doing IVF. I tried to explain to him that it just doesn't work that way, but he stood firm with his reasoning that thems be the numbers and that's the way it is. How can I argue with that reasoning? Ah guys. You gotta love 'em.

I would love to hear stories from women who have had success with their first IUI.

And let's not forget the meds. I didn't respond to my last cycle of Clomid and I am hoping that maybe my new fertility doctor (Dr. T, who I will meet on October 10th) will consider prescribing me something else, like maybe shots. I just don't want to go through the whole stupid process of gearing up to TTC only to find out at the end of the cycle that I didn't even ovulate. Truthfully, the shots scare me a bit, but all in all it's a very small price to pay if it means I get to have a baby nine months later.

What wil the next cycle bring? The curiosity is killing me!

I've heard a few stories about how some women noticed several "signs" just prior to getting a positive pregnancy test. For example, being shit on by a bird on the way to the drugstore to purchase the test (supposedly good luck). Or when buying the pregnancy test, the cashier's name was the exact name the woman had chosen for her baby.

My dilemma is that kind of thing happens to me all the time. Seriously, I notice so much synchronicity that sometimes I wonder if my life isn't spiraling in on itself. One minute, I'll be thinking about something really random, like, I don't know - long matches - for example. A few hours later, I'll see long matches on TV or someone will bring them up in conversation. Or (this happened to me the other day as a matter of fact), I'll wake up with a song in my head (50 Ways To Leave Your Lover by Paul Simon) and think to myself "why do I have this song stuck in my head?". And then on my way to work that morning, I'll pass a newstand only to discover a lyric from that very song ("Just drop off the key, Lee") splashed across the front page of the local newspaper in bold letters, not to be missed. These things happen to me almost every day.

Am I psycic? Am I living in an alternate universe? Am I in tune with another dimension?

Does this mean that signs have the opposite effect on me? If I stop noticing "signs" does that mean I'll finally get to have my baby?