I'm in a relatively good mood today. And I feel like cleaning the house! (D couldn't be happier - our house has looked like a bomb hit it for the past few weeks.)
I've realized there is no point in being sad or stressing about this baby thing. It won't accomplish anything, in fact it will probably just make things worse. Don't get me wrong, I'm still bitter when I see babies and pregnant women; it defintely still strikes a chord. But I'm just not going to make it the central focus of my existance anymore.
I went for a coffee this morning, and as I was standing in line to pay, there was a woman with a baby behind me. The baby dropped something and let out this shriek that could have shattered glass. It was so loud, high-pitched and abnoxious that everyone in the cafe was caught off guard. The baby kept screaming and crying and his poor mum was beside herself with embarrassment. She finaly had to step out of line and take the baby outside.
Now granted, I would give anything for a baby; even a screaming bratty one. But I must admit, at that moment, I was a wee bit glad that I didn't have to deal with that kind of situation. Seeing that baby wail was perfect timing for me, because instead of feeling my usual bitterness and jealousy, I actually felt sorry for the mum, which helped lend strength to my attempts to see the big picture.
Today's plan: I'm going to get my house totally cleaned top to bottom, get some healthy groceries in, and spend some time on myself (facial, manicure, etc.). Good first steps to remembering who I was before all this TTCing took over my life.
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