Monday, August 13, 2007

Clomid, Christmas & Condos

Things seem to be getting a little better everyday. I can't think of one thing I have to complain about right now. Not one!

I had a busy day at work, and at lunch, I went to get my last Beta HCG blood test. I don't think I really needed to get it since my period finally started, but I thought it couldn't hurt just to make sure everything is in order. I'll be starting the Clomid tonight anyway, no matter what.

Last time I was on Clomid, I was SO moody. It was so strange. Intellectually, I knew I was being totally irrational, but it didn't matter; emotionally I was inconsolable. I sobbed for, like, two days straight! Well, okay, I didn't sob continuously - there was some screaming and yelling in there too. If I go through that again, it should make for an interesting time. I don't care, as long as it gets me pregnant. But still, I feel like I should write an open letter to my friends and associates, warning them that I am going for another round of Clomid, and I may be very tempermental and if I should, I don't know, phone them up weeping and rambling ridiculous nonsense, well, don't worry, it's just the Clomid. Ha ha, can you imagine?

Now that we can start trying again, I have figured out that we can have up to three cycles and still be able to tell everyone at Christmas. Christmas is my goal for being at the 12-week mark in pregnancy. I know we can do it. We will! And if it's before Christmas, then all the better. D says now that we can start trying again, it's going to be like sex boot-camp around here!

Speaking of D, he dragged me out to see a new condo after work today. He's got a bug up his butt to sell our place and buy something bigger. I don't know if it will happen, we're pretty happy where we are. But I let him have his fun. I think it gives him a thrill to think about how to play with our equity. The place we saw was pretty amazing. Totally decked out and gorgeous. I was very impressed but it was almost too cool. Too chic. I wondered if a condo like that could ever feel like home. Ah, who am I kidding, I'm sure I'd somehow find a way to get comfortable in a place that looks like it was torn from the pages of Architectual Digest. Oh I guess I could try to make it work, somehow.

Let's see...what else... Oh yeah, I phoned my oldest and closest friend P on my lunch break today. P and I have been friends since gradeschool, but unfortunately, she lives in another country so connecting with her is a rare treat. We try to make it regular but it's hard since we're both pretty busy. P is going through a hard time right now too. It was great to commiserate. I miss her.

I'm so happy to be feeling a bit better. I was really getting a bit worried there. I just hope this improvement continues; I don't want to fall down that black hole of depression again anytime soon.