Friday, August 17, 2007

Absotively Posalutely

Thank goodness it's Friday. What a long week it's been.

I've got a busy weekend coming up but at least I can sleep in and relax a bit. I am supposed to get together with L this weekend, which I am looking forward to and not looking forward to all at the same time. It will be nice to catch up, but seeing her, I have no doubt, will be a painful reminder of where I should have been in my pregnancy.

Speaking of getting pregnant, I have been temping since the start of this cycle. I temped the cycle I got pregnant as well, and I found it to be incredibly helpful. If you are reading this and TTC-ing and wondering if temping is for you, let me tell you: It is extremely valuable. It was so nice to see that I did indeed ovulate and know exactly when. I love having some frame of reference as to where I'm at with my cycle. Although a lot of the information is only useful in hindsight, it's totally worth it. I can't believe I didn't do it sooner.

I thought my temps so far this cycle seemed a bit high, compared to those of my last (pregnant) cycle. But when I calculated the mean temp, it was exactly the same as before. Plus, I looked online for other charts and I am right where I should be.

Let's face it: I am totally obsessed with getting pregnant. I probably think about it 200 times a day. I plan my whole life around it. It might be a good thing for me to let up a little. But how? It feels like an elusive dream I am so close to obtaining. It's all I want in the whole world!

The worst is when I'm stuck in work meetings. My mind wanders to thoughts of pregnancy and babies almost immediately. It's a complete miracle that I ever get anything else done.

I'm trying to think positively here. Scratch that, I AM thinking positively here. I WILL get pregnant. I WILL have a healthy baby. It WILL be very soon! It WILL it WILL it WILL!!!

Here's why:
-I got pregnant before.
-There is no reason to think that a miscarriage will happen again.
-I am keeping myself pretty darn healthy these days, eating right and exercising.
-I am on Clomid, which forces me to ovulate.
-We will actively time our intercourse accordingly (boot camp!).
-Despite the PCOS, I think I am actually quite naturally fertile.
-The full moon is on my side.
-We want it. We're ready.

It's GOING to happen. Ya hear that, Universe???