I am losing my SHIT. I woke up at 5am this morning and just sobbed. This wait has reduced me to such a hormonal wreck. I am just not myself.
I know it must sound crazy, feeling so discouraged at his point in my pregnancy. I think it's the uncertainty that's getting to me. I am so desperate for this baby girl to be born, and everything else in my life is just on hold until she gets here. I don't want to be induced; I want Maya to decide to be born on her own.
I'm worried about what an induction would do to my baby and to my labour, I'm worried about having an aging placenta, I'm worried about something going wrong. I'm worried that this baby is going to be 15 pounds. I'm just wracked with worry in general. This truly has been a difficult week for me, emotionally. And I'm sure the hormones are not helping.
I have to clear out of my condo today because they're shutting off the power to the building from 9am to 4pm for some sort of maintenance. I suppose I could stay in but I'd be bored without TV, internet, etc. I am all about distraction right now, so that will never do. When we received the notice about the power shut-off a few weeks ago, I remember thinking, "I'm going to have a newborn by then." I honestly never thought I'd still be pregnant at this point. But here I am.