Sunday, August 17, 2008

40 Weeks Today [Updated]

Stick a fork in me. Today is our official due date!

I thought we might get some labour action going last night due to the full moon and all, but nope. I slept like a baby without a minute of discomfort.

Yesterday was also uneventful, save for some minor BH contractions. D and I went on another long walk and had lunch down at the beach at one of our favourite restaurants. I ordered a breakfast burrito, thinking that it was the safest thing on the menu. But I had a bit of anxiety when it arrived and I discovered that the potatoes that came with had feta all over them. The waiter kindly replaced the potatoes when I told him that pregnant women can't have soft cheeses like that, and I ate them. But later, I started worrying that the feta had touched the plate and who knows what else and it threw me into a bit of a panic. Seriously, who puts feta on potatoes without warning?

I tried to rationalize with myself that A) the feta was likely pasteurized anyway if it was being served at a chain restaurant, B) I didn't eat any of it that I'm aware of, C) Listeria is extremely rare anyway, D) Just because something has the potential to carry listeria doesn't mean that it is definitely contaminated, E) My doctor has never seen a case of listeriosis, and F) None of the food recall advisement sites (yes I subscribe to these, call me paranoid), make any mention of any feta recalls in this area.

I think I'm having a hard time getting past the feta thing because we've come this far and a part of me is so very afraid that something will go wrong at the last minute. Is that a stupid thought? My husband thinks so.

So now what? I guess I'll take another walk today and just keep hoping that something will happen. I am so ready to meet this baby girl. I am desperate to transition to the next step. I think this last week has been the hardest and longest of my whole pregnancy. And the brutal heat of summer really isn't helping.

PS- Thank you to the anonymous commenter who left the nicest comment on my last post. You made my day!

PPS - [Update] I don't know why I didn't do this yesterday, but I just called the restaurant we ate at and asked them if their feta is pasteurized. It is. As is all of their cheeses. So I guess I can stop fretting now. My husband has told me before that when I feel like I can't control something (for example, waiting for labour), then I pick something unrelated and try to control that to an insane degree. I think he's right. I am feeling so nervous and hormonal right now, I guess I just needed something to focus my white-hot laser beam of anxiety on. I am so happy and excited but so anxious and emotional at the same time. I feel like I could burst into tears at any moment. Please don't misunderstand, I still feel like the luckiest girl in the world; I am so amazingly blessed to be experiencing this miracle. I am honestly and truly happier now than I have ever been. But I think I'm overwhelmed. Overwhelmed physically. Overwhelmed with anticipation. Overwhelmed with nervous anxiety. Overwhelmed with a million emotions racing around in my head at the same time. OK so now you're privy to the deep dark secrets of a very heavily pregnant expectant mum. Probably too much to share with all of cyberspace. But oh well, if you can't be totally honest in your own blog then why bother having one?

8 comments:

christina(apronstrings) said...

FREAKIN' A! i feel so bad for you. aaagggghhhhh! maya! get out of ther. i know you are doing nipple stimulation, right?? you know you can even use a pump. sorry to offer a$$vice, and she will come when she is goo dand ready---but i am gonig to do that at 39 weeks in the 1% chance that it works.

Mel said...

Oh that is stressful... you are almost there, just hang in, Hil.
*hugs*

Xbox4NappyRash said...

SO SO close Hilary.

And you've been wonderfully honest on here from day 1, so there no such thing as TMI.

Fertilized said...

Hilary, Anxiety is high, you will worry and We will offer hugs and word support! C'mon Maya your mother needs to hold you!

Hilary said...

Come on Maya! Mommy and her blog buddies are ready to meet you! :)

sarah23 said...

I just can't stop saying it: I am SO excited for you!! It sounds like Maya is going to come soon.

I didn't find the description of the mucus puck in the least bit disgusting. In fact, it was rather informative!!

Paint it Black said...

Think of yoruself as being in the pregnant olympics. It's one hurdle after another but the gold at the end is worth it.
You will always find something new and seemingly big to focus on, that just means you care a whole lot for Maya.
Is that such a bad thing?
On second thoughts I betta ask D, I mean the guy has to live with ya after all lol

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