Last week flew by (thank goodness) and Scrappy and I have now landed square on the 11 week mark. It's a weird place actually; I'm almost ready to be confident, but not quite. That's not to say that I'm not confident in many regards, it's just that my mental goal of "12 weeks" looms large in the near future. I feel like that's the day that I can finally shout from the rooftops that I'm pregnant. I'll feel like I can finally start thinking about buying things for the baby, and maybe - just maybe - saying things about our future kid out loud without feverishly knocking on wood (and making everyone else in the room knock on wood too!). Of course I know that bad things can happen well after the 12 week mark, but for some reason, I've established this date in my head as the threshold of this whole thing becoming...real. Really, really real.
One week to go... *sigh*
The Baby Fair was L.A.M.E. Seriously lame. First of all, it was pretty small and PACKED with pregnant bi-atches and I don't do well in small crowded places at the best of times. The freebies were trite at best, a lot of them being candy, which I can't eat anyway. The highlights were 1) Chatting with folks are Cherish Childbirth about having someone come to our home to give us private birthing classes (very cool) and 2) Spending the afternoon with my mum.
Mum was so cute, wanting to buy me every cute baby outfit we saw (and there really were quite a few) but I wouldn't and couldn't let her. I'm still so superstitious I just can't abide a baby purchase until next week.
I'm afraid this week coming up will be a long one. I don't have any doctor's appointments scheduled next week and I just know I'll be counting the seconds every day until we get to our 12 week mark. (But in two weeks we have our nuchal screening scheduled so I have plenty of time to start getting nervous for that, don't I?)
I went out for lunch with my friend pregnant L yesterday. She is 38 weeks now, the baby has dropped, and she is seriously going to give birth to her first child any second now. She said something that I hardly ever, make that never, consider: She said, "Hilary, you worry and fret about everything. You're so nervous. After everything you went through, I can imagine that you must think that pregnancy is such a fragile thing, but really - babies are tough!" Hmmm. I think the idea that 'babies are tough' is such a bizarre notion to anyone who's ever struggled with loss or infertility, but I know deep down, under all the insecurity, that she's right. *knocks on wood*