Last week flew by (thank goodness) and Scrappy and I have now landed square on the 11 week mark. It's a weird place actually; I'm almost ready to be confident, but not quite. That's not to say that I'm not confident in many regards, it's just that my mental goal of "12 weeks" looms large in the near future. I feel like that's the day that I can finally shout from the rooftops that I'm pregnant. I'll feel like I can finally start thinking about buying things for the baby, and maybe - just maybe - saying things about our future kid out loud without feverishly knocking on wood (and making everyone else in the room knock on wood too!). Of course I know that bad things can happen well after the 12 week mark, but for some reason, I've established this date in my head as the threshold of this whole thing becoming...real. Really, really real.
One week to go... *sigh*
The Baby Fair was L.A.M.E. Seriously lame. First of all, it was pretty small and PACKED with pregnant bi-atches and I don't do well in small crowded places at the best of times. The freebies were trite at best, a lot of them being candy, which I can't eat anyway. The highlights were 1) Chatting with folks are Cherish Childbirth about having someone come to our home to give us private birthing classes (very cool) and 2) Spending the afternoon with my mum.
Mum was so cute, wanting to buy me every cute baby outfit we saw (and there really were quite a few) but I wouldn't and couldn't let her. I'm still so superstitious I just can't abide a baby purchase until next week.
I'm afraid this week coming up will be a long one. I don't have any doctor's appointments scheduled next week and I just know I'll be counting the seconds every day until we get to our 12 week mark. (But in two weeks we have our nuchal screening scheduled so I have plenty of time to start getting nervous for that, don't I?)
I went out for lunch with my friend pregnant L yesterday. She is 38 weeks now, the baby has dropped, and she is seriously going to give birth to her first child any second now. She said something that I hardly ever, make that never, consider: She said, "Hilary, you worry and fret about everything. You're so nervous. After everything you went through, I can imagine that you must think that pregnancy is such a fragile thing, but really - babies are tough!" Hmmm. I think the idea that 'babies are tough' is such a bizarre notion to anyone who's ever struggled with loss or infertility, but I know deep down, under all the insecurity, that she's right. *knocks on wood*
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6 comments:
Here's to lots more happy growing of your baby!
I think babies ARE tough, but I think sometimes infertile bodies are tougher.. (as we both have experienced). Having said that, I bet Scrappy will stick around. :)
I know you'll make it! 12 weeks will be here before you know it.
I was the same way - 12 weeks was just my mental goal even though 13 weeks is technically the 2nd trimester. I can't believe I'm so close. Who woulda thunk it?
I think good thoughts for you everyday and sending some right now for a quick week to your mini-milestone! XOXO
I like that idea. I'm going to have to hope that your friend is right! YAY for 11 weeks! :)
12 weeks is quickly approaching, Hilary! If you know you will rest easier when that date passes by, go ahead and worry a little this week. But remember to enjoy the miracle of your pregnancy, too. Scrappy's here to stay!
Let's go 12 weeks!!
PS-I have protected my blog to only allowed readers, so if you can send me your email address, I'd love to add you.
melissazubik at tx.rr.com
Oooh...that last week before the mysterious 12 week mark...yahooo.....and it's already Wednesday, so you're ALMOST THERE!!!!!
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