Yesterday, I decided to walk up to Robson Street, Vancouver's shopping district, to search for after-Christmas bargains. I had a nice time, dropped in on a friend, bought a few odds and ends, nothing special. I had a lovely time all by myself.
While I was out, I was overcome by the most intense sense of gratitude for finally being pregnant. I can't explain the feeling, other than to say that it was overwhelming. I spend so much of my time feeling nervous, anxious and scared over every little thing, and it was so nice to feel involuntarily positive for a while. My breast hurt, I had a nice bloat going, and I couldn't have been happier.
On another note, this morning I woke myself up at the tail end of a naughty dream that ended with a, um, very real happy ending. Crap! Not again! I don't want to do anything that could put Scrappy in jeopardy and I'm so mad at myself for letting it happen. Everything I've read says that generally speaking, orgasms in pregnancy - even early pregnancy - are considered safe, but somehow this is not reassuring me. This probably sounds really silly, but I've really worked myself into a panic. I desperately hope my little Scrappy is okay.
Damnit! It will be an ice cold shower before bed for me tonight...
In other embarrassing news, I am most definitely NOT constipated, which I understand is a very common complaint during pregnancy. Not to say that there's anything wrong per se, but I am - for the first time in my life - extremely regular. Like clockwork. This has been going on since just before the IVF and has continued until now. Not that I'm complaining. I just find it odd.
Oh the things you're learning about Hilary today. Aren't you glad you checked in on my blog? Think of what you would have missed if you hadn't!!
And the nausea: Still very minimal, but I do think it exists outside of my head. It only happens a small handful of times throughout any given day, and consists of 10-15 seconds of feeling gross. I usually feel like gagging, which I do sometimes, and then it's over. So far, I have had no problems eating or anything like that. I suppose I should consider myself lucky, but I'd still prefer to be reassuringly barfy.
Cravings/Food Aversions: None so far. Well, sometimes the smell of coffee is gross, but not all the time. I haven't really had any cravings except for protein and vegetables. What really sounds good to me is eggs, cheese, meat. It's a bit odd because usually I am a carb lover, but lately I'm totally off bread and anything sweet (except for fruit). I think this has more to do with the fact that I am acutely aware of what I'm doing to my insulin levels, rather than it being a true "craving". In other words, if someone told me that tree bark was good for pregnancy, I'd probably feel like eating it by the wheelbarrow full.
Tomorrow I'll be 7 weeks along. Our first "heartbeat" ultrasound is coming up on Wednesday. I am so nervous. Make that terrified. Please don't get me wrong - I'm beyond grateful and thrilled to be coming up on 7 weeks. I am just hoping so hard that Scrappy is doing well and we get to see a nice strong heartbeat on Wednesday. Oh PLEASE let us see that beautiful heartbeat!