Well I think the meds are finally getting to me.
My good mood in the morning quickly deteriorated into something black and foul. I've been crabby and mean all day. Even though I know this about myself, I just can't seem to help it. My husband is a saint today.
Oh and I seem to have lost my marbles as well. I have been forgetting stuff, important stuff, all day. Here's a prime example of what I'm talking about: I had to take my Repronex with me to my morning blood draw, as they like to measure you BEFORE you shoot yourself up full of the meds (more on the results of the blood draw below). Afterwards, I told the nurse that I had to do my AM injection and asked if there was there a room I could use. She kindly escorted me to an empty room and told me to take all the time I needed.
--As an aside, the room contained a table with stirrups, and all kinds of other stuff that made me realize that I was in a room where they actually do the procedures - IUI, IVF and the like. I noticed a biohazard container full of used catheters (of course I had to look in - it said biohazard, didn't it?) and I wondered, were there embryos in those catheters recently? I know this sounds crazy, but being in that room made everything feel so real, all over again.--
Back to my story. So I was preparing my supplies and I got everything ready to go. Just before I was going to inject myself, the injection needle skidded across the table I was sitting at. I only brought one needle and I thought, I'm screwed, there's no way I can use this needle now. But ah, then I remembered where I was. So I interrupted the nurse and asked her for a replacement needle, which she gave me. I went back to the room, finished the injection, threw the wrappers and empty bottles in the garbage and left. As I proceeded to the parking lot, that's when it hit me: Did I remember to mix my medication???
As it turns out, no, I didn't. Sure I injected myself, but only with the saline. I gasped in horror and ran back to the clinic. I felt so stupid. I again interrupted the kindly nurse and told her what I did. She looked confused, like she couldn't imagine who in their right mind could forget to mix their medication? She actually said, "Wow those hormones must really be affecting you!". She gave me fresh supplies and led me back into the empty room which I inhabited only 10 minutes earlier. And when I dug through the garbage, sure enough, I found the unused Repronex (powder) bottle - for those of you playing along at home, that's the IMPORTANT part of the medication. I did the whole thing over again. Yes, I gave myself two injections this morning. The first one was just for fun I guess.
The nurse called a few minutes ago with the results of today's estradiol blood test = 1066. Considering it was below 100 when before I started the injections, she said I was stimulating a tad too fast. She instructed me to lower my dosage of Gonal F and come back on Tuesday for my next blood test. Of course I wanted to hear that everything is perfect and I am stimulating beautifully, and while this is not ideal, the nurse didn't seem too worried about it. I guess the alternative - not stimulating at all- would be worse. I'm going to try not to stress about it.
I think I shall continue to stew in my own unholy wretched bad mood for the remainder of the day.