I can't believe I'm saying this, but as excited as I am for the upcoming IVF, I'm also feeling a little overwhelmed. Okay, make that more than a little overwhelmed.
I function best when I feel completely organized. So today, I went out and bought a notebook and tabs and carefully went though all the papers given to me at the IVF Orientation and logically filed them in my new notebook. That made me feel a little bit better, but I can't shake this feeling like I'm missing or forgetting something. It's just so much information to take in.
I also noticed that they will be having me start the Synarel on CD 21, the same day as the last day of my birth control pills. This seems weird to me, as I thought the Synarel was supposed to start on CD 14. I got all confused and worked myself into such a lather that I finally ended up leaving a message for a nurse at the clinic to call me back. Hopefully she can straighten me out. (If anyone knows from experience about when to start Synarel, please leave a comment.) [Update: I spoke with the nurse just now - thank goodness I called when I did. As it turns out, starting the Synarel on CD 21 would have been a mistake. It was an error in my chart. I am supposed to start the Synarel in CD 14 (in 3 days), just as I had suspected. I'm thrilled my obsessive worrying was actually warranted for once! I would have been crushed if my cycle was cancelled or delayed due to something like an incorrect chart note!]
I still haven't heard back from my doctor about the "how many embryos to transfer" issue. She's usually very quick with her replies so I re-sent the original email from Tuesday, because I'm just that impatient. I'll feel better when we get this issue settled. If there is a good reason for us to only transfer back one embryo, then I will respect her judgement, but I really want to transfer two so I'm hoping she's agreeable to that. [Update: I'm glad I resent the email because it turned out that Dr. T didn't receive my original one from Tuesday. She replied that she believes we actually have a better chance of success if we transfer back one great-quality embryo versus two lower quality embryos. Of course, much depends on what the embryos are like. Bottom line: We'll cross that bridge when we see what we have to work with.]
One last source of stress that making me feel all buggy is the fact that I have to talk to my boss about all the time off I plan to take before, during and after the IVF. I'm hoping for the whole month of December, to be exact. He's out of town until tomorrow so I sent him an email yesterday to brace him about what I want to discuss, but he hasn't replied yet. *Fret* [Update: I'm still freaked out about this but I'm taking the time off no matter what; I'm just scared to confront my boss.]
I woke up at 4:00am this morning and couldn't get back to sleep because of the worrying. I think I'll feel much better when all this stuff is sorted out. I hate feeling like I've too many outstanding issues and unanswered questions floating around in my brain. Sigh.
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3 comments:
It's difficult being an overly organized person and dealing with IF because your first response to everything is to try and make a plan and keep everything organized and together--or at least that's how it is for me.
I'm glad you got some of the answers you were looking for and I'll definitely be keeping my fingers crossed for you that your meeting with your boss goes well! :)
Often, our obsessiveness over details pays off. Good for you! Generally the clinics aren't overly concerned with you as an individual, so it's up to YOU to be concerned with you. Wow was that convoluted! haha.
Anyway.. lots of happy thoughts for you.
we are both control freaks: i would be doing the exact same thing. you are doing great, though. i have so much excitement for you!!!!
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