I'm home from work today. I've been feeling a bug coming on and last night it hit full force. I did try to go into the office but they sent me home right away. Fine with me. I'm ultra-depressed today and am quite happy not to have to deal with work.
At least I know now why my temp has gone up - I've got a fever! All makes sense now. I was stupid to get so excited about possibly being pregnant. I had all these symptoms, my period was late, temps going up, and I thought OMG this is it. Come to find out I didn't even ovulate this cycle. I've totally made something from nothing.
So why would I ovulate (and get pregnant) on 100mg of Clomid before but not even ovulate on the same dose this time? It doesn't make any sense. Am I considered "Clomid resistant" now? Is it because of the miscarriage? I totally don't get it; I thought Clomid forced your ovaries to ovulate. Should I be considering alternative therapies?
More importantly, should I just give up? I mean, what's the point if it's all just amounting to disappointment and frustration. D and I talked about putting our "trying" on hold for a while, just to give ourselves a break from all these ups and downs. On the one hand, it sounds like a good idea; I'm tired of feeling so wrecked. On the other hand, I'm 30 (and D is 35) and I know my clock is ticking at this age. We talked about adoption last night too. Maybe that's the road we should take instead. Although, truthfully, I really want my own child.
I don't know what to do. All I can say trying for a baby feels completely hopeless now. I'm honestly starting to doubt if it will ever happen for us.