Most of you probably aren’t aware of this, unless you’ve read my blog from the very beginning. My OB/GYN is also my boss’s wife. It’s a long story how I came to be her patient, but it was essentially due to my boss kindly “calling in a favour”. I’ve been my boss’s wife’s patient since my first pregnancy, so I guess for about a year now.
I am very careful to keep the relationships separate. I don’t talk to my boss about appointments with his wife and I don’t talk to my doctor about work stuff. For all intensive purposes – my boss and my doctor are not even related in my mind.
However, today, I think I may have crossed an inappropriate line and I need your opinion.
I am my boss’s executive assistant. Today, he forwarded me an email from his wife noting the days that she would be travelling out of town and he asked me to put these dates in his calendar. No problem, right? Well, I happen to notice that one of the dates she will be out of town just so happens to be the very same date that I have an appointment scheduled with her.
So, with that in mind, I called my doctor’s office and asked if my doctor (boss’s wife) would be available for my appointment or if I would be seeing a locum. Her nurse assured me she would be available and didn’t know why I was asking. I informed her that I work for her husband and I have become privy to some dates that she plans to be out of town and I wanted to reschedule my upcoming appointment if that was the case. The nurse said she had not heard this and would have to check with my doctor and get back to me, adding, “Well if that’s the case, then I’ve got a huge scheduling mess to clean up because no one told me she’d be gone!” Yikes.
My heart fell into my shoes. I suddenly came to the very yucky realization that I may have crossed that boss’s wife/Hilary’s doctor line that I try so hard not to tread on. In other words, if I didn’t work for my boss, I’d have no idea that my doctor was planning to be away. I feel weird and icky and stalker-ish for calling the nurse about it. It’s just that I am comfortable with MY doctor and I don’t want to see anyone else. She is very good, knows my history and is kind to my insanity. If she’s going to be away then I would like to reschedule my appointment.
Typing this out, it sounds less bad than it seems in my head.
Anyway, then I started wondering if inadvertently cancelled my next appointment (Wednesday March 19th) by suggesting with the nurse that I reschedule. As far as I know I don’t have a new appointment time and my doctor is very hard to get in to see. Did the nurse actually delete my original appointment when I called asking to reschedule? Do I still have an appointment? Is anyone going to see me? Did I just f*ck things up royally?
Not wanting to be a further pest, I decided to wait for the nurse to call me back as she promised. I waited and waited all day. Knowing that the office closed at 4pm, I called around 3:45 just to “check in” to see about my appointment. No answer. The office had closed early for the weekend. I guess I have to wait until Monday to sort out this fiasco.
So my friends, tell me:
In your opinion, did I cross the fine and sensitive line between being my doctor’s patient and my boss’s assistant? Do you think I might have just gotten myself into some trouble with one or both of the parties? Were my actions inappropriate or I am freakin’ over nuthin’? Why do I feel so icky about this?
Please be honest, you won’t hurt my feelings, I really want to know from an outsider’s perspective what this looks like.
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6 comments:
Oh Hil, you do like to obsess. Luckily for me I like to read about your obsessions! I am not sure what to advise you really tho.
I suspect that since your boss and his wife sound like very understanding people, you will probably give it way more thought than they will. At worst your boss may give you the old 'work privacy' speech. But if it helps, I would have done the same thing.
Neen
Ouch that's a tough one. It goes back from yes to no in a matter of a few questions. I think the sticky part that could manage to cross the line is when you called the nurse to answer your question, She answered it and you volunteered info that she was not privy to. Which then puts her receptionist in a bad bad place. No one likes to be the last to know something that affects their job.
But on the other hand if she is the only dr in the practice and there is no one else to see you, you want to care for your baby and to help calm your anxiety.
SO after all that rambling i think that If you would have just rescheduled w/o getting into the specifics and just said there was a conflict - you would be good to go.. but by volunteering that info, it may have been crossing the line.
With all that said - it's done. You can't take it back. You have to let it go and move forward. Learn from it and release it. Do not cause yourself any extra stress or anxiety than necessary. Deep breathes in ad out and very healthy and refreshing
Give it a couple of days, call back and reschedule.
the receptionist takes plenty of calls a dy, she won't even remember yours.
Reschedule, and job done!
CHILL OUT dude! ;-)
i think you're ok, it was well intentioned. i say get ahead of it, and email your boss with a light hearted mea culpa.
he won't mind. as your employer he probably likes your type a scheduling habits.
My only concern would be if the doc's being away was confidential or a surprise on the part of your boss.
Giantspeedbump
I think you are fine. The doc knows you work for her husband, and the husband knows his wife is your doc! He gave you this information--you didn't "overhear" it or see a note on his desk or something. You had every right to call and check. It really won't be a big deal. But, now you know it makes you feel icky, so you know how you will want to handle it next time (which will probably be calling and checking to make sure your appt is still on!). Just forget about it. Women worry too much about these types of things...by next week, you won't even be thinking about it anymore.
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