I feel weird today. Off. Not good. Not terrible. Just weird.
And a wee bit discouraged. Lately, it seems like just about everyone is turning up pregnant. My logical mind understands that this does not affect my chances; it's not like they are taking away from the world's quota of total allowable babies. Intellectually, I know that. But for some reason this makes me feel discouraged about my odds. Like, if everyone else is getting pregnant, how will there ever be room in the pregnancy club for me? If everyone else gets to have a baby, how can there be any babies left for me?
I know how this sounds. Stupid, right? Where do these crazy thoughts come from? Isn't this the silliest thing you've ever heard someone worry about? It's almost embarrassing to admit this out loud...er, I mean online.
I guess I'm just finding optimism to be a struggle today. *Sigh*
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3 comments:
Let me tell you, I have two younger brothers. Baby brother's girlfriend had their baby in Sept. I am just waiting for my middle brother to tell me his girlfriend is expecting, too. They just announced they were engaged this weekend... I fear the pregnancy news is soon to follow for some reason.
I seriously feel like if I don't beat the middle brother, I'll be stuck as the one kid in the family who is barren for life. How pathetic am I?
I am right there with you.
*hugs*
Totally natural.
I made the mistake of going to Target this morning. EVERY SINGLE PERSON had at least one kid and I saw 95,000 pregnant women.
I really had a moment of "Well, geez! How am I supposed to get a kid if you keep hogging all the babies???" Between that and the "why not me?s," I'm feeling a touch silly myself.
I don't think it's stupid at all. I agree with you--there have been a lot of people popping up pregnant in the blogosphere lately and to be perfectly honest, I too was having those same thoughts. It's hard watching it happen all around and you can't fault yourself for feeling the way that you do.
I'm holding out hope that IVF brings you what you so want and deserve. HUGS!
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