I don't know WHAT is going on with my breasts lately, but for the past 3 or so days they have been extremely sore and sensitive! They did hurt on and off during the first few of weeks of my pregnancy but I thought I was done with all that now. Apparently not! I don't mind at all, I love feeling any reminder that I'm pregnant. I just think it's weird.
Work has been such exquisite agony lately. I am so not present for it. It's so hard to be there and show the enthusiasm that I am paid to demonstrate when I just don't care about it at all.
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If you've been reading my blog for any amount of time, you've probably formed the opinion that I have a touch of OCD when it comes to worrying and obsessing about things. If you've come to this conclusion about me, I'm afraid you're absolutely right. My latest worry: Listeria. I can't stop fretting about that stupid Turkey Sandwich Incident. I know the chances that I contracted listeria are so minimal, but I can't seem to erase the fear from my mind. I am desperately desperate for some sort of reassurance that everything will be OK. I have my regular OB/GYN doctor's appointment coming up in a week (next Tuesday) and I am definitely going to ask Dr. R about it then. And if she is able to reassure me (and I really hope she can), then I think my next question will be about how to control my copious and extensive pregnancy anxieties.
We have wanted this baby for such a long time. SUCH a long time. And now that we're finally here and everything seems to be going well (knock on wood), I find myself desperately afraid that I am going screw things up or that something bad will happen. I know I should be enjoying this special time, and believe me, I really am. I LOVE being pregnant. And I guess that's the root of my fears: That all of this magic will slip through my fingers.
Worry, thy name is Hilary.
*Sigh*
Tuesday, February 12, 2008
Sunday, February 10, 2008
13 Weeks Today
First off, thanks all for your encouraging comments on my last post. I am 85% not as freaked out as a was. I'm trying to chalk the whole thing up to a learning experience and just put it out of my mind and I'm *almost* there, not quite. I'm still really mad at myself about The Turkey Sandwich Incident.
I love being pregnant. LOVE. IT. Despite my bouts of worry, I am the happiest I've been in my entire life. Right now.
I love this kid so much already.
In other news, I can't seem to put on any weight. I haven't gained an ounce during my pregnancy so far, and in fact, I think I've even lost weight. It's getting a bit discouraging because it's the one time in my life I actually want to see the numbers on the scale go up! Plus, I am eating like it's going out of style. I probably have at least 6 meals a day. Granted, it's all healthy stuff.
This kid must be really speeding up my metabolism. I don't know how much more food I can fit into the day!
All the books say I should have gained 5 pounds so far. Has anyone else heard of this happening?
Yesterday, D said I should just start eating whole sticks of butter. I laughed at the time, but maybe he's onto something?
I love being pregnant. LOVE. IT. Despite my bouts of worry, I am the happiest I've been in my entire life. Right now.
I love this kid so much already.
In other news, I can't seem to put on any weight. I haven't gained an ounce during my pregnancy so far, and in fact, I think I've even lost weight. It's getting a bit discouraging because it's the one time in my life I actually want to see the numbers on the scale go up! Plus, I am eating like it's going out of style. I probably have at least 6 meals a day. Granted, it's all healthy stuff.
This kid must be really speeding up my metabolism. I don't know how much more food I can fit into the day!
All the books say I should have gained 5 pounds so far. Has anyone else heard of this happening?
Yesterday, D said I should just start eating whole sticks of butter. I laughed at the time, but maybe he's onto something?
Friday, February 8, 2008
I Screwed Up
I ate a turkey sandwich - made with deli-style turkey cold cuts - for lunch today. I honestly didn't know you can't eat that kind of thing when you're pregnant! I knew about soft cheeses, raw fish and meats, all that sort of stuff. But I didn't know there was a risk of contracting listeria from deli meat.
OH CRAP!
While listeria is rare (the highest reported number of cases was 14 in a year, in British Columbia which has a total population of about 4 million), I still can't help but be a *little* freaked out. In the United States there are roughly 2500 reported cases per year.
I really hope I didn't just put my little one at risk. I would just die if something happened and it was because of a stupid turkey sandwich.
I am so careful, SO CAREFUL, about what I eat. I guess I was just under-informed.
I am learning something new about pregnancy every single day. I really hope everything's OK.
OH CRAP!
While listeria is rare (the highest reported number of cases was 14 in a year, in British Columbia which has a total population of about 4 million), I still can't help but be a *little* freaked out. In the United States there are roughly 2500 reported cases per year.
I really hope I didn't just put my little one at risk. I would just die if something happened and it was because of a stupid turkey sandwich.
I am so careful, SO CAREFUL, about what I eat. I guess I was just under-informed.
I am learning something new about pregnancy every single day. I really hope everything's OK.
Thursday, February 7, 2008
Scrappy's 12-Week (and 4 day) Ultrasound
Everything went perfectly. Scrappy showed a beautiful strong heartbeat of 161bpm and measured ahead by a couple of days. Notably, however, Dr. T said that when you measure CTR (crown-to-rump) length after 12 weeks it's not as accurate as it was earlier in the pregnancy. At 12 weeks they start measuring fetal head diameter, etc. to measure size. Regardless, Scrappy was the right size, and looked just as he should.
One of the best parts of the ultrasound was when Dr. T said, "Oh yeah, this one's a sticker!".
Music to my ears.
My next ultrasound is March 25th (at 19 weeks) and we'll hopefully find out the gender!
One of the best parts of the ultrasound was when Dr. T said, "Oh yeah, this one's a sticker!".
Music to my ears.
My next ultrasound is March 25th (at 19 weeks) and we'll hopefully find out the gender!
Tuesday, February 5, 2008
Apparently I Look Like An Egg (Though I Don't See The Resemblance)
This morning, whilst my husband and I were getting dressed, he looked over at me and proclaimed, “You look like an egg!” There’s no hiding it now, I definitely have a bump. Thank goodness I bought some maternity pants last weekend. I didn’t want to buy too much, as my pregnant friend L warned me that my body will keep changing a lot over the next little while, but I did come home with three pairs of nice, stretchy maternity pants. I like the kind that have the panel that stretches over your whole abdomen and up to your boobs. I dislike the low-riders. What a treat it’s been to not feel so constricted in my clothes.
I informed my boss this week that I am three months along and it was time to discuss my maternity leave plan. I wrote up a proposal letter that I will be giving him later this week. If all goes well, I will be on maternity leave as of June 1st, 2008. In Canada, we’re so lucky. We get to take a whole year off. Although, D and I have discussed it and I don’t think I will be going back to work at all. I want to be a stay-at-home-mum, and D prefers that we raise our kid rather than have a daycare do it. But I digress…I’m getting ahead of myself here. Let’s just focus on one thing at a time! Like for example…
…my next ultrasound. I’ve got a “quickie” scheduled for this Thursday morning and despite the fact that I am so excited to see our Scrappy on the big screen again, I am anxious all over again. One might think that finally making it to 12 weeks would ease my worries a bit but unfortunately, not so. I get so nervous before these appointments, and my fears always seem to get the better of my imagination. I really hope everything goes well on Thursday morning.
Pretty much all of the modest pregnancy symptoms that I was feeling earlier have lifted. This week, I’ve kinda felt “normal” again. Other than the heartburn of course. And I still want to eat everything in sight – which may, in part, contribute to the “egg” shape that D mentioned.
Lastly, I wanted to recommend a book. I don’t normally do this, but I have been really impressed by this book Bear With Me by Diane Flacks. It’s a hilarious and touching account of her and her partner’s pregnancy and birth experience, and introduction to new motherhood. I have not been able to put it down. And I must say, it’s opened my eyes to whole worlds of information I never considered. Plus, she’s Jewish and Canadian – like me!
I informed my boss this week that I am three months along and it was time to discuss my maternity leave plan. I wrote up a proposal letter that I will be giving him later this week. If all goes well, I will be on maternity leave as of June 1st, 2008. In Canada, we’re so lucky. We get to take a whole year off. Although, D and I have discussed it and I don’t think I will be going back to work at all. I want to be a stay-at-home-mum, and D prefers that we raise our kid rather than have a daycare do it. But I digress…I’m getting ahead of myself here. Let’s just focus on one thing at a time! Like for example…
…my next ultrasound. I’ve got a “quickie” scheduled for this Thursday morning and despite the fact that I am so excited to see our Scrappy on the big screen again, I am anxious all over again. One might think that finally making it to 12 weeks would ease my worries a bit but unfortunately, not so. I get so nervous before these appointments, and my fears always seem to get the better of my imagination. I really hope everything goes well on Thursday morning.
Pretty much all of the modest pregnancy symptoms that I was feeling earlier have lifted. This week, I’ve kinda felt “normal” again. Other than the heartburn of course. And I still want to eat everything in sight – which may, in part, contribute to the “egg” shape that D mentioned.
Lastly, I wanted to recommend a book. I don’t normally do this, but I have been really impressed by this book Bear With Me by Diane Flacks. It’s a hilarious and touching account of her and her partner’s pregnancy and birth experience, and introduction to new motherhood. I have not been able to put it down. And I must say, it’s opened my eyes to whole worlds of information I never considered. Plus, she’s Jewish and Canadian – like me!
Sunday, February 3, 2008
Friday, February 1, 2008
A Mental Pukefest of Random Thoughts/Issues
So I told my wonderful, brilliant, glorious RE (Dr. T) that I canceled the nuchal screening that we had booked. I thought I should let her know since she was the one that suggested that we get it done. I explained to her that since the test had no preventative value, and really wasn’t truly diagnostic (only offering statistical information), D and I decided - after much deliberation - to decline.
Dr. T then kindly offered to give us a regular “quickie” ultrasound next Thursday instead. Just for fun. Now, I don’t know if this flies in the face of my newfound “trust” in my pregnancy (see last post) or not – but I am not the kind of gal to turn down a free ultrasound. I will be 12 weeks and 4 days at that time, and if all goes well (knock on wood), I think I can actually finally TRULY relax. And I must admit, I am excited to see our little Scrappy again. At 12 weeks and change, he should be looking like a real baby and not just a bowling pin!
Now I would like to address the issue of my “bump”. I am currently experiencing something that I think is really weird. For the last few days I’ve really started to notice my belly growing. I don’t know if it’s what I’ve been wearing or what – but my mum, dad and coworker also noticed. But today, it seems to be gone. Again, I don’t know if it’s what I’m wearing that makes it seem smaller, but it really seems as if it’s disappeared. Not for long I hope! I’ll keep you all posted with updates on this – I know you’re all at the edge of your seats wondering how Hilary’s bump is progressing…
Another issue to address: Heartburn. I have never, EVER experienced heartburn in my life. And now, I think I’m having it for the first time. It feels like a tightness in my throat – accompanied by a sort of “hotness” and pain. It kind of spans down to my clavicle area. It hurts to swallow. Never having experienced true heartburn before, I can’t be certain if that’s what’s going on. But I think so.
Lastly, I have one more issue to address today. At my last visit with my OB/GYN, my doctor said that she would like me to go off of my Metformin AND my low-dose Aspirin at 12 weeks. She immediately saw the panic in my face when she said it. I have been on Metformin for so long (I loves me the Met) I’m afraid my body will go into some sort of shock if I stop taking it. I asked her if I should taper down and she said no, I could just stop. I don’t think I can handle just stopping so I am going to taper down anyway. Cold turkey just freaks me out. The low-dose Aspirin, while I don’t love the idea, I can handle stopping. I must say, it will be VERY WEIRD to only take my prenatal vitamin every day. Very weird indeed.
Dr. T then kindly offered to give us a regular “quickie” ultrasound next Thursday instead. Just for fun. Now, I don’t know if this flies in the face of my newfound “trust” in my pregnancy (see last post) or not – but I am not the kind of gal to turn down a free ultrasound. I will be 12 weeks and 4 days at that time, and if all goes well (knock on wood), I think I can actually finally TRULY relax. And I must admit, I am excited to see our little Scrappy again. At 12 weeks and change, he should be looking like a real baby and not just a bowling pin!
Now I would like to address the issue of my “bump”. I am currently experiencing something that I think is really weird. For the last few days I’ve really started to notice my belly growing. I don’t know if it’s what I’ve been wearing or what – but my mum, dad and coworker also noticed. But today, it seems to be gone. Again, I don’t know if it’s what I’m wearing that makes it seem smaller, but it really seems as if it’s disappeared. Not for long I hope! I’ll keep you all posted with updates on this – I know you’re all at the edge of your seats wondering how Hilary’s bump is progressing…
Another issue to address: Heartburn. I have never, EVER experienced heartburn in my life. And now, I think I’m having it for the first time. It feels like a tightness in my throat – accompanied by a sort of “hotness” and pain. It kind of spans down to my clavicle area. It hurts to swallow. Never having experienced true heartburn before, I can’t be certain if that’s what’s going on. But I think so.
Lastly, I have one more issue to address today. At my last visit with my OB/GYN, my doctor said that she would like me to go off of my Metformin AND my low-dose Aspirin at 12 weeks. She immediately saw the panic in my face when she said it. I have been on Metformin for so long (I loves me the Met) I’m afraid my body will go into some sort of shock if I stop taking it. I asked her if I should taper down and she said no, I could just stop. I don’t think I can handle just stopping so I am going to taper down anyway. Cold turkey just freaks me out. The low-dose Aspirin, while I don’t love the idea, I can handle stopping. I must say, it will be VERY WEIRD to only take my prenatal vitamin every day. Very weird indeed.
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